yeah..

i've done a quiz on facebook..who i should get married to..

they said i should get married to a chef..

i watched naked chef today..














jamie oliver is HOT,n yah he's married.with kids..
















DAMN!















[ p/s: aku da start naik bnci kat ex galfren ko.seriousshit aku x suke ]

good mo(a)rning

my mind is not at best phase right now..it kept rewinding n reminded me of my past love life,which,did not end up in a good way..

i dunno what came into me,but i just can't sleep..so i switch on this laptop and went through sum files..n of coz,the pictures attract me most..n yah crazily i went on looking back at my exs' folders..

i just hate to see dat face.how happy i am..the smile is just so sweeet (eceh prasan)..eh but its true though..ikhlas gile bgmbr..like my heart is jumping from all the happiness around me..the eyes r sparkling,d face glowing,the teeth shining..ceh.see how pwerful love can be..i can't rmmbr when is the last time i took pictures with that smile on my face..ouh and dat time,the confidence level was VERY high i can say..i always felt good with myself..now,i dun even like to take my own pictures da..i think i look like a monster.*sigh*

hate the fact dat im all alone right now,looking ugly n no one loves me..

ouh tpi,looking back at all those photos,found these interesting pictures weh..kire,ex2 aku ni kuang aja jgk..haha kidding! eh tapi x caye tgk ni :



ade ke patot bagi gmbr 'snonoh' cmni kt awek yg baek cam aku nih..hahahahha ;p [ muke dikaburkan utk mnjage maruah.eceh..sape yg knal tu,knal lah kn..eheee ]

smtimes i feels like it wud be better if we're not friends anymore..coz being friends with him makes me feel like he was so close,yet so far..he is there,but not for me..the fact dat hurt..i might get better if we're not frens at all.but,i dunno if i can do dat in d 1st place,its gonna b tough.real tough i mean.yes,i pray the best for him..but i know sooner or later he'll find another gal,n honestly i can't let that happen..na'ah..i can't bare to c him with another smone n not me.at least plis not now.im sooo not ready fer it.

PENAT LA CAKAP SAL ISU NI.TAK ABES2.

its 4 in d morning n im still awake.n i think blogging ni da mcm aktiviti utame plak..asek2 update je,pdhal post bkn best pon.ehe..jiwe kacau beb.smlm hepy,arini nanges aa..standard ah tuh..if u get too happy today,careful,cuz u might cried ur heart out the next day..i've experienced dat like so fucking a lot..ceh bunyik cam aku tua gile siot.. -_-"

turning 21 in about 19days from now..yey!~ -_-"

mind d laguange..pagi2 cam ni gua lalok sket beb. ;p

penulisan tanpe pemikiran panjang

tau x? norman kru da nk kawen weh..ngn dokter umo 44 thn..dlm 2minggu agi kot,aku bc kat paper singapore..wahahahahahaha melepas aku nk kawen milionnaire -_-"

[ its hard to blog when there's too many soundssssssssssssss surrounding me..anoyyiiiinnnggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]

ouh i just noticed dat,i've got sunburnt from swimming on last saturday..grrr..tapi x trowk sgt ah,thanx 2 d sunblock.tapi x bkesan sgt la kn klo x xde r aku sunburn..still,its oke la drp x pkai..sbb kt kaki aku xpkai sunblock n dah sunburnt gile babi..ngee..pastu en,i've also realised dat i hav not captured any picture of my face during azha bro's wedding..padahal aku trase aku lawa mlm tu.heh.prasan,ok tau.bia ah..hahahahahhah ;p kalo bkn aku nk puji dri sndri sape lagi kn kn kn ;p..ouh wedding abg azha tu,kt wisma sejarah at jln tun razak..i drove there..1st time driving at nite jauh2 smpai kne lalu byk tol dgn pngetahuan abah..b4 dis drive mlm2 jauh2 pegi damansara plancau sume tuh bpk aku xtau.kikiki..err tapi aritu dah ter bgtau bcoz trying to convince him dat i can drive..huk2.

got invitation to watch harry porter dat nite..prrgh bpk best.tp x pergi.cube mmperoleh kprcayaan dari abah,so xnk uat pasal.. ;p

oke aku trase mcm aku mmbebel jekkk...ahahaha..tak tak,aku hepy..emm snanye tak hepy tapi buat2 hepy sbb tkut nanti rangga nk lempang aku ;p..hahahahaha...adoooyyyyyyy boringg gler single.ceh padahal bru bape bulan..dlu single 2 thn bahagia plak aku..huhu..tah la im just so confused with myself..plus,the age is killing me..being 21 n single buat aku rase mcm aku ni pathethic gile..ouh blom 21 lagi bbrp minggu..hehehehe...damn da dkat kottt...n d fact dat aku akn smbg stdy 6thn lgi out from the country worries me a lot..bile tah lagi mse aku nk bcinte @ mncari cinte baru..time tuh aku SEPATUTNYE pk stdy je n bnda2 remeh ni aku tayah pk dah..pttnye aku gi sane bahagie bljr 6 thn balik2 cni ade rmbgn msk mminang pastu aku cume stuju je pastu kawen..haaa..kn sng..n,sume tau kn,aku blk cni umo da 27,n dats OLD fer a lady..lain la kalo norman KRU available agi...hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa -_-"

sronok jugak mmbebel kan?

later..daa~

life as it is

who doesn't long for someone to hold,
who knows how to love you without being told.
somebody tell me why im on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone...

-natasha bedingfield, soulmate lyrics -

i don't know what to say,n yes smtimes the truth hurts..i am getting sick already of the feelings of loneliness here..

ok seriously i dunno wat to say..i just keep typing and ending up delting everything back..nothing seems right here..mayb i shudn't blog today..today is just not my day.

p/s: wehh bpk aku kasik uat bday 'party'..any suggstions frenz? ;p

fuyoh!

tadi ade kwn aku ckp,ex aku da nak kawen weh ahad nih!! ex yg mane? haha..yg ni xrmai org knal,pasal aku knl ngn dia dlu time pas spm..mase tu kn xd jmpe mmbe2 sgt..heee...ex aku ni dak kuantan..dgr cite kawen ngn org sabah..pasal dia kje kt sabah kn..nway,kpd ex ku itu,

SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU!! Semoga Kekal Ke Anak Cucu..Setia Pada Yang Satu ;p

hee....congratz!

ouh,cngratz kpd diri sndiri jgk,krn mempunyai prasaan ingin tahu yg tinggi...dan kbenaran ituh sudah terbongkar..kite tggu dan lihat ape akan jadik selepas ini [ ayat xleyh blaaahhh....hahahah! ]..inilah yg tjadi bile aku blogging dlm bhs melayu..hahaha..pape pon,i am so upset with it..thank you for making me feel so cheap! babiiiiiikkkkkkkkk!!!!

dude

i hate the fact that,u only calls me when u needed something,when u need help.

u dun have a reason to call me back then.u just called.

i hate being used.

it sucks.

coolio~

ok..went back from the UM thingy ( konvesyen pljr prubtn mesir blablabla) i've watched football on tv..its MU vs. Malaysia..n of coz,obviously,i am a supporter of malaysia la! malaysia boleh maa!!! hahaha..anyways i wud support any team but NOT MU..YNWA la weh! hee..ok back to d game..it started predictably slow,smpai aku pon nk bngang gk tgk..then rooney shoot 1 goal..then 2..n the game gets even boring-er..hee..then then,malaysia pon goaaallll!!!!!!!!!! weee~ then the game cm klam kabut sket tpi after dat mcm da best..huhu..pastu malaysia gol lagi satu wehhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! ouh gol kedua i loikeee...santek amat! kuwaiss awi!! =) but our player mcm byk wasting their oppurtunities dow..cm ptt blh try agi tpi cam malu2kucing..n disebbkn tu,GOALLLLLLLLLLL lagi satu utk MU! hahahaha! damnn...goalkeeper tu la gi dpn pastu defender kaki pendek n lembab n xsempat hlg bola tu msk gol pffftttt...guess who scored the 3rd n the winning goal for MU? its MICHAEL OWEN the traitor! ngeee..belotbelot si comel yg belot! grrrr...gerrard gk bgus,setia ngn liverpool..tnh tumpah drh dia tuuuu.. ;) ouh pastu game abes..KHALAS... ;p so malaysian playerr,kuwaaiissss...damn owen shud not shoot dat goal dow..aku ske kalo MU kalah ni..hahaha.. ;p

ade bnda nk story..its about dreams..mayb nxt post..ehee..ouh n i hav planssssss next week..tpi secret tkut org bkenaan bc blog so shhhh until the event ;p

gtg!~

p/s: pagi2 bute cikin msg ckp i miss u..babe,i miss u even moreeeeeeee.....lonely dowwww..jum jln2 carik pakwee!! ngaaaa!!*^&*(&(*%%##$%^^&*#@

losing it

i just finished watching the SHOUT! award..which i accidentally tgk pon sbb mcm tgh channel surfing then "whoaaa ade shout! award laa.."..haha..so i didn't actually watch it from the 1st lah..i was hoping dat i didn't missed the caprice perfomance but pfftt too late already missed it..hee..see,im losing it.

what i mean by losing it is,i am not what i used to be back then..im not interested in these entertainment thingy sgt,tgk tv pon cm xde any favourite..i dun really know who my fav artist is n i dont give a damn about being the 1st to watch the new movies at the cinema..ouh n yeah,i don't even bother to google what megan fox is all about n knp dia mcm tgh hangat mnjadi topik pbualan skang ni -_-"(mayb coz i didn't even watched transformers yet?) yeah im turning into a boring fat ugly gal who knows nothing about the world.goshh..i hate d sound of dat :( i am not yet a medical student and yet i've lead a boring life..im afraid i might get rebellious n suddenly wanted to hav all d fun when i started to stdy nnti..goshh then it would b very susah coz i know there wud be no concert or whaddahell anything fun pon kt mesir..haha..damn..

dunno whether its the mood swing,or i think dat life seems to hav no interest on me..ke i dun hav any interest on life? ehe..tak2..tah la..i got bored with everything dat i do..i need some boost up in life.i need to hav some adrenaline rush..eh bleh x gi hospital mintk dia suntik adrenaline sket? ;p

know what,smbdy think dat i am a sensitive person.and too kind but too emo..haha..and i think he described me right.

later~

a new baby

there's a new baby in da auz..n its mine...

yeaahhh..cool aite? dis is actually a present from mama..she promised to buy me this 4 being accepted to the medical school..abah yg tlg bli kn...ehee..i am so not a professional,malah amat2 amateur n sgt xtau pape..d reason dat i asked 4 dis camera pon was actually bcoz i wanted to share it with mama..n bcoz,i wanted to share it with my ex..mase tu dia bf aku la kn..ehee..i know he likes to take pictures so i thought i could lend him my camera sementara aku stil lom gi mesir la..coz im bringing this baby to mesir..ehee..tapi tu lah,skang i juz wanted this for fun la kot..being able to take quality pictures smtimes makes me happy..i rmmbr carrying my bro's nikon d60 to a hotel where our family was having dinner..coincidentally there was a wedding at the hotel..pastu cm bile sume nmpk i was carrying d camera sume cm cover2 cun n ensem..padahal aku xnk amek pon gmbr dorg..hik3 ;p

i am suffering from a flu!! bukan swine flu eh..juz a normal one..thanx 2 d active n hectic life since cuti nih,kan da selsema! haha! tapi xpe,im getting a lot better da pon..ehee..

ouh,i think i need to change my specs..power cam da lari..xtau la tmbh ke kurg..tapi cm da pning2 sket..xtau la nk tuka d whole specs or just change the lens..coz i love the one im wearing rite now...tapi cam,nk gk carik yg len..heeeeeeee :D

pape jela..im getting fatter each and everyday..but i didn't make any effort pon nk kurus..wahahaha...! da gemok..! argghhhh...!! lantak la..bak kate smone "x kisah la gemok ke kurus,asalkan sihat.."..tapi aku x sihat weh,selsema ;p

dis saturday ade taklimat pnerbangan ke mesir yg di nanti2..hoho..plus konvensyen pljr prubtn blablabla...so i'll be in UM the whole day! 9-5pm..goshh..n my dad he's not going with me from the morning sbb dia mls nk dgr all those motivasi thingy,he's just interested in the taklimat pnrbgn je..yela,he's 62 kot,he's d one who's more wualified to b giving d lectures kot..hik2..so my dad wud b joining at 1pm afterwards..*sigh*..

oke..im bored at home..im hoping dat d flu will get cured faster,coz im hell bored just sitting at home..!

gtg now..later..!~

nothing

tadi gi jln2 lagi...pegi zoo weyh! ngn lily,bazli n dol! hahah..bpk bezz..da lama x rase jakun mcm tu ;p

aku kurang phm knp..time pagi2,sume drive kete mcm tgh brangan di awang2an,mkn angin,slow n steady,minum2 kopi...slow killer! tapi bile stat ptg,sume cm syial..signal sume da rosak,pedal brek da tadew ade pedal minyk je,aku da signal pon tamaw bgi jln,annoying okeh! -_-"

arini aku rase bez..sbb ape taw? sbb aku rase yg aku ade TEMAN..xde pown aku rase lonely,sbb arini mcm full of activities..lgpon aku nih bile time jakun mmg jakun btol..xigt bnda len..hahahah! tpi tpi,bile blk uma,aku jadi boring blk..sbb ape taw,kt uma aku xleh uat girly talk..sbb xde girl kt dlm uma ni slain aku..haha...i miss my mama..klo time mama ade dlu,msti bnda plg tahpape yg jadik tadi pon aku cite..hahahaha..kat abah pon,aku cite gak..tapi aku skew dgr respon mama..lgi satu sbb,mama msti ade je bnda nk share nti..sbb mama pon noty cm aku gk mse dia mude2 dlu ;p

tadi,aku mcm bosan..pastu,aku bc la blk blog aku ni..drp aku xde boyfren,ade boyfren,takde blk,pastu ade n xde kembali..haha! mcm bongok pon ade..n aku prasan,yg,time aku ade boyfren tuh,aku mcm asik mrh2 je..means: aku cm xbahagia pown..tapi aku rase cm bahagia sbb aku syg gile je kt dia dlu.. ( aku x mention okeh boyfren yg mane ;p)..pastu,aku rase cm bongok je sbb aku syg dia gile2 babi tapi laz2 x jadik ape..aku xtaw knp,ttbe aku rase mcm bcinte tu buang mase je..mmg lah,dia bgi aku pnglmn supaye aku x uat slh agi nxt time..tapi tah la..maybe sbb tibe2 mcm ade org confess nk kt aku la hape la so dia uat aku terpk blk bnda ni..aku da macam,tak kuase..klo stkt aku bcinte utk rase sakit je,bek aku xyah bcinte kot..salunye,time bkwn tu agi indah la drp bile dah kapel..

aku suke bile igt blk time cume kwn2 jek tu..bezz,sbb mase tu mmg true self n xde nk sorok ape2..sbb masing2 x terpk pon nk ter jatuh cinte ke ape..klo time da ade prasaan plak tu,lagi la bezz..sbb mase tu masing2 nk tnjuk hebat,so masing2 akn uat yg terbaik n akn cube sdaye upaya nk impress each other..so bile mcm mamat tu ade prob kul 3-4 pagi pon,sggup je dgr cite dia sambil tsengguk2 ngntok snanye...tapi bthn sbb nk dgr mamat tu ckp "ur the best!" kt ko sbb ko sntiase ade kt dia (doesn't imply to anybody..hanye cerite ;p)..bezz weyh..time tu ko btol2 rase mcm,ade org akn sntiase ade ngn ko..btol..tapi bnda ni mungkin x same ngn korg..tpi ni cite aku..ehee..pastu bile aku kapel ngn dia,it didn't work out,pastu break..n masing2 janji nk jadik same mcm mase kwn2 dlu..korg rase same ke x? ahaa..pndai..tak! agknye sbb ape ek xleyh?? aku pon xtaw..aku cm cube nk jadik same cm dlu,tpi pihak di sane tu mcm ade jelah alasnnye..n 4 sure bile dia ade gf bru,konfem la dah xlyn aku lgsg..aku ade satu soalan yg sgt3 penting yg smhow aku harap ade r manusia yg jujur yg bleyh tlg jawabkan soalan ni utk aku.....n plg bgus klo manusia yg jujur ni pnah jadik boyfren aku..aku nk taw sgt3..

aku ni terowk sgt ke?

smpai..tadew sape pon nk kt aku? nk,tpi kjap..lame2,knp xley? aku ni bosan ke ape? aku cume nk tau,sbb,kalo leh aku xnk jadik lgi bnda yg same..aku da xthn la mcm ni..aku mmg rase cm tadew life..aku ni,dah 21..kwn2 aku da ade yg da kawen pon...yg tunang tggu mse nk kawen pon ade..yg bru nk tunang,yg da ade steady boyfren..MAJORITY..aku taw,org akn ckp,u'll get smone better,blablablabla...tapi,aku dah jadi lonely..serious..ye,aku ade family aku lagi,tapi aku da xde mama..since aku da baligh dlu manelaa aku rpt2 lgi ngn bpk aku..sbb aku ni jnis pmalu sket ngn family..aku pon tataw knp..n to start all over again skang,mcm da xbleh kot..aku klo time xbleh puase,mne penah aku mkn kt uma ni..aku xmkn weh..sbb aku xnk bpk aku or abg2 aku nmpk..sbb ti dorg perli aku jadik cm segan..PLIS DUN ASK ME WHY..tpi itulah keadaannye..

aritu,babal taktau la npe baek sgt..dia nk bgi aku sdap ati kot..ehee..dia kate:

girls are like apples on trees.
the best one are at the top of the tree.
boys don't want to reach for the good one coz they're afraid of falling and getting hurt,
instead,
they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good,but easy.
so,
the apples at the top think something is wrong with them.
when in reality, they're amazing.
they just have to wait for the right boy to come along.
the who's brave enough
to climb
all the way to the top. ;)

cool kan? thxx babal..ko smnjk msuk uitm sombong ngn aku.wekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ;p

percaye tak,stlh skian lame aku bru bgtau bestfren aku yg aku da break ngn boyfren aku (aha,bestfren aku yg nih xbc blog..mayb aku da gi mesir kang bru bc kot ;p)..pastu dia kate:

"ptt r mespes ko cm xde tulis pape psl dia.."

"n aritu time dia dtg uma ko mcm xckp sgt ngn dia.."

"ptt la time fon dia ttgl kt lam kete aku aku tgk dia save nme ko fuzzy ke faz je tah..aku malas nk uat scene so aku xtnye lah.."

ehee..pastu aku ckp,aku xgtau dia sbb,aku xnk dia ckp ex aku tu jht ke ape ke...pastu bestfren aku ckp "faz,smhow he just broke ur heart dow..be meannn!!!!" hahah..taley weh..tah aku pon xphm..aku kdg2 rase mcm marah kt ex aku tu sbb aku rase mcm dia main2 kn aku,tapi aku xnk org len pon mrh dia sbb....tah la..sbb dia xbuat slh ngn korg kot? hee..atau snanye aku rase xpuas ati kot dia break ngn aku mcm tu je..tah la tah la tahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! aku pon xphm aku,cmne la aku nk suh ko phm aku?

tapi en.serious.bile aku sorg2 mcm ni dalam bilik,aku akan sedar betape aku sbenarnye LONELY..

p/s: kadang2 bile aku menulis,aku nak dia bace..sbb aku xreti nk tnjuk dri aku yg sbenar kt dia,tanpe aku mnangis.padahal,aku da janji taknak nangis sbb dia,sbb dia suruh aku jadik KUAT :D

uyeh!

uyehhh lme gilew tangguh nk tulis blog nih..ngahahahaha!

had a funfunfunfunfunfunnnnn timeee back at the east coast! 1st day at kuantan,2nd day tganu,3rd day went to khota bharu,4th day went to pasar payang n masjid kristal n blablabla n finally heading home on the fifth day..had a great relieved cuci-ing mate at those places..hahaha!! ouh abg honda city,i won't forget u *gatal*..ngee..ouh d day dat abah n i wanted to go to kota bharu tu,guess what..tayar pancit! n it was friday..tau lah,klo friday nih tganu ngn klantan sume kdai ttp..huk3..tpi,luckily the tyre uat hal btol2 dpn kdai tyr 2nd hand n its open!! yeayy!! stgh jam jgk la settle kn tyr..ehee..after dat everything was bck to normal..ouh mlm tu,while i was online-ing wiht my kezen fara at her room,tibe2,DDOOOMMM!!! katil runtuh! wahahahah..shit..berat sgt kot aku -_-",tapi2 da fixed blk da oke..kici punya hal ;p

while on the journey,i hav so many things in my mind..on how life should b,n how it is rite now..about my future,my presents..everything..i had so many ideas while i was in the car,tpi bile da cmpai uma,bkk laptop.........blank...haha..mayb i shud write things down..the memory is getting old ;p

i get a rest on monday after getting back from the east coast,but on tuesday,activities started again! haha! lily n i went to enol's auz,bgi bju krung suh mak dia jahit..ngee..patu lepak2 ngn enol jp,cuz if i didn't went to his house...i don't think we had any time to meet up..enol byk alasan! wek2! pastu,gi kolej!! god..sape sangke,how much we missed dat old building! gi 10-1 lepak2 ngn dak2 yg masih ade...hasut deep ponteng klas sir ( alah,deep mmg malas pon kn kn kn ;p)...haha...tapi cm jap je,da kne blk..otw balik tu,it was raining quite heavily la jgk,so i had to drive slowly..bhy2 ;p..arrived at bangi at allmost 4,then cm xde hala tuju gi jnjln..pusing2..lalu dpn umah2 membe,lalu pan uma zool...coincidentally,when we are in fornt of zool's house,zool n frenz just got back from futsal..so our cars btembung..n he invites us to come in..uyyeehh dpt tmpt lepak free...hahaha..then around 6 anta lily blk then the day is over..

d next day,i went to mid! with piqal,sara n madihah...great fun! play 3 games of bowling n went karaoke-ing for 4 hours at red box! ngaaaa! n d next day i had an ache all over the body..hee..rugi apek x ikut..klo x msti gi happening..lol..ok dis blog is boring.

i'll write smthing more useful nxt time..i dun think im in a mood of writing rite now..gtg..later!